Pandemics and Babies

It isn't very adorable but so many things about living in times of a pandemic are like surviving the first months of becoming a parent.

Like washing your hands persistently. 

Like restricting shopping jaunts to the online world.
Like not going to the cinema.
Like realising how little is actually in your control.
Like wondering if life will ever be the same.

As tiny and sweet as newborns are, I must say 3 months onwards they get so, so much more fun. At almost 6 months, they are just too freaking edible (I have to say, however, when people say 'enjoy this, it's the best age', I get a bit worried because when did you ever enjoy a situation all the more because somebody reminded you of its temporariness?). I still wash my hands fairly regularly but they don't feel like chipping tree bark anymore.

I can't say I enjoyed the utter fragility of newborns either. The gummy eyes, the flaky skin, the red spots, the constant "watch his head, his neck, his neck!!" ...

It is so much more fun now, when I sit him like a small squat little teddy bear on the bed just to watch him topple over or sideways, whichever way the wind blows or a stuffed bunny lies. He gets into this automatic tummy time position and then stares up in amazement (how did I end up here?!) and grins that toothless grin which tugs so many strings it unravels my heart completely.

Three weeks into being a mom, I remember a faint sense of dread climb up through my soles and legs and into my heart as it would start to get dark outside - the every two hour wake up at night and the hazy sleep in between is not great for the body or soul.

But the positive thing about those first few weeks is, it sets the bar for a decent night's sleep super low. So now six hours of broken sleep with a stretch of four (mostly) uninterrupted sleep feels pretty good.

I think parenting became easier when I realised how things don't go according to plan and babies will be different from one day to the next (you may say 'duh' but it's one of those have to live through to truly accept realisations).

Instead of checking the internet and parenting books for minute by minute advice, it's probably best to have a general overview. To have, as they say, the main bullet points, and then just let the baby fill in the rest.

Just because he has taken a two hour nap today, do not hope or expect the same each day. In fact, when I put Zain down for a nap I expect him to wake up in 30 minutes - which means when he continues on for an hour it is a happy surprise ... And if on rare occasions it goes beyond 2, I go lie down next to him, waiting for him to wake up because by now I kind of miss him.

(Pandemic has also given us a lot of time to bond as a family, especially as a mum and baby. Which is great but I think there may be some attachment issues on my part later on since I haven't actually spent more than two hours away from baby Z).

I read and reread becoming a new parent tips and blogs and googled how to get baby to sleep through the night countless times. And although you start off thinking all this study is because you want the best for your baby, it becomes more about achieving an ideal life where a baby breastfeeds every three hours for ten minutes, then coos and stares at you while you recite poetry in two different languages, and then falls asleep sweetly in their crib for two hours -- and  repeat. 

Even while you tell yourself every baby is different and don't aim for perfection, you semi-consciously do.

Till you finally realise the problem and decide to watch shows on Netflix when you get time rather than Google how much milk should a four month baby drink.

I guess it's easy as a new parent to forget this is but a small jaunt in what God willing is a long adventurous journey. And bottle feeding or co-sleeping, using the pacifier or rocking to sleep or whatever less than perfect practices we may be indulging in are not going to matter much, say even a year from now.

What's most important is that your baby knows you love them.  And of course, change their diapers periodically and make sure they're fed.

But mainly it's about the love.

So maybe put away the heavy duty books and the constant guilt, the online courses and those very beautifully dressed moms with their perfect baby schedules, and instead cuddle your little one and blow raspberries on their tummies and let their silly giggles wash away the night's weariness.