A litany of firsts

 

"You know mama, there is a phone in school and it's always making noises. It says things like 'I'm in the backyard, I'm in the backyard!"

Took me a couple of minutes and I'm not sure if this is one of the imagined tales or mostly real as seen and understood by a 4.5 year old ... I think Z was talking about the PA system?

So far, one of the nicest things about school is what I was fearing to be the most arduous one - the walk to school, which theoretically and according to Google Maps is 8 minutes but anyone who has walked anywhere with small children will know that that can be anywhere from 15 to ohmygod-I-cannot-fit-any-more-sticks-in-my -purse-please-let's-just-get-there...

It was this fear that made me leave early on the first day and we were literally the first people at the gates which hadn't even opened!

The first day of school. As far as milestones go, that felt like a very big one.

There were no tears though, just some nerves and tugging of heartstrings. I was so proud of my little chipmunk in his smart uniform walking into the classroom. I peeked through the window and saw a boy bawling, and Z walking in timidly, looking around and trying to figure out what to do. Then he saw a couple of kids sitting at the front of the classroom near a screen and he went off to join them.

It's the end of week 3 now and TGIF hasn't felt so real since I first started working more than a decade ago.

Z has been enjoying school, telling me all sorts of stories, meeting different kinds of kids more so than nursery and I'm happy I chose this school.

The afterschool restraint collapse, our millennial phrase for tired kids, is real. There is a LOT of whinging (a great British word, right up there with 'faff' and 'bonkers'.) Many tears. No throwing himself on the ground so I guess we're still better than the wild 2's.

But then one of the other kids at school told his mum that 'Zain is the winner of all rules' and I asked Z if there are a lot of rules at school. And he told me, yeah, I follow everything. I sit on the carpet properly with my legs crossed, and I sit very very quietly.

And it was like fog clearing away from my brain as I pictured my little 4.5 year old having to learn so much discipline and new ways of behaving, and hopefully that image of Z sitting sweetly on the carpet with his mop of shiny black hair and navy jumper will help me be more patient with the mood swings and shouting.

How far we've come. From checking the pregnancy app to find out how my baby is now the size of an orange, to that terror of changing the first nappy.

The first time we came home with tiny baby in his furry snowsuit, put him down in the bassinet and thinking gosh that's too big for him. The whole world feeling so foggy and different.

I remember the first bath, the first time I cut his nails. Our first walk in the pram around the neighbourhood- what a feat. The most mundane everyday actions feeling so momentous and terrifying.

Moving from bassinet to cot, a few feet across the hall to a different room. The first nursery visit. The first nursery drop off where Z just crawled off and played, no teary byes then either.

Speaking of which, I think I felt more teary on Z's last day at nursery than his first at school.

Childhood is beautiful because the litany of lasts gives way to one of firsts so you're too busy adapting to the new to feel very sad about what has just ended.

I hope school is the beginning of much adventure, and great new friendships, learning and challenges to overcome, skills and games and laughter and cheekiness.

When I ask him what he's learning and whether they do any numbers, Z tells me they do 'maffs' and when I call it math, he tells me off. So we're already at that stage of school knows more than parents!

I absolutely love how he seems to know the name of every kid in class and as we will pass some one or the other by, he will whisper in my ear - that's Annie, he's my friend (pronouns are still a bit tricky right now).

Z was thrilled that school has cars and trains, and the other day in P.E. they played a traffic light game. If you have met Z recently, you would know what a big thing that is ...

We have loads of toy traffic lights. All our crafts revolve around road signs. One of the top searches on my YouTube is 'traffic lights around the world'. We are most certainly going to dress up as a traffic light for Halloween.

Along with a love for traffic lights, we have a passion for snails.

Who could have thought a cosy, slow Sunday with your child could involve looking up on your phone whether having snails crawl on your skin is safe?

Turns out, it is. Might even be good for anti-aging but I think I'll stick with my wrinkles.

Z really wants a pet dog or cat, but since I don't want more things to do around the house, we have settled on pet snails.

Before I knew it we had scores of snails in a plastic tray in the sunroom and every now and then we would lose a snail then find it stuck under a toy garage or something. Happy to report I have managed to put the snails and their home outside (at least the ones that were in the home... hoping I won't come across one stuck randomly to the spine of my book one day).

There are so many funny cute idiosyncrasies that I know I will forget so I want to pen them down before they disappear.

Another one of those things that can only be cute (okay maybe not exactly cute but definitely very funny) if it's your own brood involved is the detailed description of poo that comes with a 4-year old in a public toilet. It's with a mix of embarrassment and hilarity that I listen to how many poos are coming and which ones are floating and which ones aren't while standing outside a cubicle, trying not to catch anyone's eye.

Z and I love painting. And he has learnt to ride his bicycle but the slopey way to school isn't very conducive to a new rider (and his mum's frayed nerves) so we have now started using the long forgotten scooter. And Z is definitely zipping down faster each day. He's never been a very energetic climber but he definitely seems to have a way with all kinds of sport!

We still love reading. And going to the library.

Z is also so, so kind. And so very sensitive. I still remember the often-wild 2 year old who got me a few angry looks from mums whose babies he had been not so gentle with at a softplay or the other.

And now he would never hit anyone (except me of course. Doh). In fact, we're going through a phase in which I have to buck him up a bit so he doesn't freeze or burst into tears if someone gives him a gentle or not so gentle thwack!

He isn't very competitive with his peers, happy to suggest 'let's both together win!'

He will always notice if I'm even slightly upset and come give me a hug. He loves group hugs or 'family hugs' and his joy at the small things in life make us better humans.

I hope school takes none of that away and only adds to his beautiful personality.

Thank God it's Friday.