sidewalk scribbling

The thunder woke us up.   The sky outside glowed blue, purple, white and the light and thunder poured in from our bedroom windows and the open door across, shadows jumping all the way from the adjacent room windows, across the short corridor, toppling onto the carpet into our room. Our pale curtains billowed out and then sunk back into the window alcoves, a giant practicing deep breathing – we could hear the rain falling in waves, the drunken trees dancing without abandon and see the lightning glow in the distance, rapid, short lapses in between, just long enough to let the clouds clang their response. The thunderstorm (the very first I’ve seen in England since we moved here almost three years ago) took me back home – the sheer life of the rain was just like the storms we have in Pakistan.   The rain in England, as I have droned on many times, is terribly mundane routine wet boring.   The rain in Pakistan – much like the country – is chaos and madness with ro...

You can tell by the sideways look your two-year-old nephew is giving the little girl playing with his up until-a-minute-ago-uninteresting plastic truck that there is a storm brewing.   “My truck,” he says loudly.   He lets go off the blocks he was playing with and looks you in the eye. “ My truck.” Toddlers, you may have noticed, have more important things to do than bother about extra adjectives or verbs (let alone something as useless as prepositions).   “MY TRUCK!!!” (It was also a toddler who created the wise saying about persistence being the key to success).      “Come on, you can share,” you may try but then thunder lightning rain and tears are upon you so you cave in to the fury of a tiny being and sheepishly cajole the little girl into giving you the truck in return for,   I don’t know, say five bucks or maybe a Barbie with shorn hair. “Here you go,” your reproachful look slides off the nephew’s adorable head like the skate...

In the morning when I wake up staring at the white ceiling with its Ikea paper lamp, I think of the teal blue of my cotton curtains back home, and the sunrays giggling just behind them, like children playing hide and seek. When I leave for work, letting the heavy door of our building close with a disgruntled thud, I look up at the English sky suffocated with sad gray clouds, I pull my jacket closer, and I think of the bright blue of the sky back home, where in late September it would only be in the early morning that the air would feel cool on my arms and face.  The trees in my street would be bright green, and I would be able see the sun, with the customary stray clouds strolling along the expanse. I miss my office, I even miss having to wear shalwar kamees with a dupatta every day (I’ll take it over the three layers I wear everyday and the mind-boggling choice between short boots, calf-length boots and the simpler close-toed loafers with worn out soles).  I m...

The old man had the most startling blue eyes, the kind that glittered in a wizard-like way.  He was a contractual worker fixing some room in the building where I work, and I met him in the kitchen over my morning coffee.  He asked where I’m from and widened his eyes, commented not on how good my English is but how American my accent is (which I take no offense or pride in – it’s not the two years of Master’s in St. Louis but all those American movies and TV shows I watch). And then he asked me that question – “so, what is Pakistan like?” The question always bounces off me like a gummy ball against the wall.  It’s a loaded question, even if it’s not really meant to be and I usually respond in two ways: 1. “Oh, it’s really nice,” which means absolutely nothing and really, when you think about Pakistan, nice is really not the most appropriate adjective … how about – incredible, wild, crazy, tragic, beautiful, turbulent, difficult to describe…? 2. Or I say...

From where I’m standing Right now, It’s not really clear; I see some clouds And a grey fog Perhaps I can lean over And draw Some silver linings Around The dark A box of crayons Always by your side Reds and blues and greens And the brightest yellow And while it may be Too easy To let the box drop And drown In the gray It might be better To lean over And draw silver Around The dark. Hello, new year, another year. I think at some point I stopped owning the years – you know, how when we were younger and in school, we’d start off the new year by always writing down last year in the blue and red margins of our notebooks – but then eventually, we’d grow used to the actual date and our margins would stop being all smudgy.  For some reason, now when another year steamrolls into me, there are two thoughts that come one after the other (like a race between two close runners, with one leading and then the other overtaking and you don’t know wh...